Have you ever felt that you are being stared at excessively? Do you hear the two gossipmongers playing Chinese Whispers right behind the desk at your workplace? Are you somehow the butt of all jokes, thanks to your fashion sense that you feel expresses your individuality?
It’s time to face the reality — being different doesn’t always mean you are fashion forward. Despite several attempts by fashion editors, our streets seemed to be filled with fashion disasters; from aunties who have taken the Forever Young concept a bit too seriously to the self-proclaimed metrosexual males who seem rather confused about whether the word fashion was ever invented for the XYs.
Here are the top five fashion faux pas avatars or rather the most common types of fashion victims that are seen trotting down the streets:
Bag of skittles — a little too much colour?
A wrinkled, neon-coloured shalwar kameez with bright pink flower prints, a tomato-red patent bag and a pair of crisp white wedges — yes, people have been seen wearing this in broad daylight!
Too much colour draws attention, but not the kind that will get you praise. If you are one of those, please stop because people around you are on the verge of turning colour blind. Maintain your outfit to a maximum of two colours and try to balance it out with nudes.
Remember the KISS formula — keep it simple, stupid!
America’s Next Top Model devotee
Everyone cannot pull off everything. This is a fact. And it’s better to accept it before finding ourselves in embarrassing situations. What probably looked good on Tyra Banks or Nadia Hussain is not necessarily going to look good on someone with a plump or rounder figure.
So let’s not rely too heavily on mainstream fashion magazine covers, or becoming a fashion victim will be inevitable. Printed pants, headbands and babydoll dresses will probably only make us appear hormonally challenged.
Trends are there to inspire us, not dictate what we must wear. So, it’s always better to wear clothing that suits your body type and makes you look sophisticated.
Thirty going on 13?
Have you ever come across aunties who respond to your “Salaam” with an oh-so-cool “Hi!”? They are normally spotted at places like Dolmen City Mall with the ‘I’m way too cool and young to be a mom’ look and the ‘perfect’ swagger.
It seems like more and more women are forgetting the importance of age-appropriate dressing. We understand that the temperatures are soaring and the scorching heat is maybe a factor in how people dress, but a graphic tee paired with cropped pants and strappy granny sandals is probably only suitable for a day at the gym.
Moderate enlightenment has made us more open to a universal fashion sense but, as bitter as reality may seem, some clothes are only suited for those who are blossoming.
The Bappi Lehri sidekick
An honest piece of advice for all the men out there — women hate men with jewelry!
So, in case you think that the silver stud on your ear or those rapper medallions over your t-shirt make you look oh-so-hot, please think again.
The only bling that a man should be wearing is a good branded watch and perhaps a wedding ring.
Unless you are a rock star, a good looking Italian, or Bappi Lehri himself, overdone jewelry looks downright ridiculous!
Santa’s sock lover
A shout out to all the desi uncles and young boys who are always feeling cold — please get rid of those socks, it’s a 100 degrees outside!
Socks and sandals have nothing to do with each other and more so, in this sweltering heat! Let your feet breathe, as that is what sandals were made for in the first place.
In case you are too fond of the warmth of socks, try out moccasins or a pair of sneakers, or just move to a location with cooler climate.
Better yet, hang them in your homes and wait for Santa Claus to fill them up with goodies!
Published in The Express Tribune, June 29th, 2013.
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