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The Desi Bride's Survival Guide: Real-life wedding nightmares and how to avoid them

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Does the thought of your wedding day have you tossing and turning in bed? Is the most important day of your life giving you nightmares? While you may want your wedding day to be perfect, it is almost never a bed of roses.

You can beat your brains out trying to fulfil your idea of the perfect ceremony, but wedding day bloopers are inevitable. We talked to some of our friends and favourite 2013 celebrity brides to bring to you a list of possible wedding day bloopers and how you can avoid them.

Br-ideas gone wrong: Yes, brides-to-be, we understand your need to delve into every minute detail of your wedding and have everything your way, but it’s good to listen sometimes. Actor-host Juggan Kazim, who recently tied the knot, shares with us that for her reception event manager Bilal Mukhtar and her husband-to-be were in favour of getting a stage made. “I was adamant that I wanted to walk around and make it casual,” she says. On the day of the event, she realised that a stage is not only important for sitting, but also for photographs, relaxing and eating. “I wish I had listened to good ol’ Bilal,” she exclaims.

How to avoid it: Listen. Be open to ideas. You might be surprised how helpful this could be. “This taught me to listen to my friends and husband and not be so stubborn,” she tells us. And no matter how casual an event you want, make sure to arrange for seating place for the bride and groom.

Signals, where art thou?: You know you’re in Pakistan when your local news channel announces that mobile signals will remain suspended due to so-and-so circumstances. But what if that day is the same as your wedding day? Our own Life & Style staffer Mashal Abbasi tells us, “My wedding coincidentally fell on 12 Rabiul Awal, meaning all phone services were off for the day. Needless to say, co-ordination was an absolute nightmare!”

How to avoid it: Always check the Islamic calendar and look out for national holidays before scheduling your wedding. And you know what internet memes tell you about the importance of landlines? They are right. Have a functional landline telephone and save the landline numbers of your wedding planner, salon, photographer, etc.

Phot-astrophe: With all the pre-wedding havoc, chances are you could get late for your photo shoot. “My husband and I were 40 minutes late for our photo shoot, which was scheduled to be an hour long,” says recent bride Marina Hassan. And the cherry on top was that her photographer was not at all accommodating. There can also be last minute lighting issues and your pictures may not come out right.

How to avoid it: Don’t be upset in the latter scenario. Planning your day from before and timing everything can only take you so far. If, due to unforeseen circumstances, such a delay occurs, stay calm and try to get the photo shoot done within the remaining time. “I completed my entire wedding photo shoot in 20 minutes, which I think is an achievement in itself,” says Marina. And if your pictures don’t come out right, worry not — Photoshop can do wonders these days!

Make-up hiccup: We know that you’d like to look less like Marilyn Manson and more like Marilyn Monroe on your wedding day, but it’s true that bridal make-up can go horribly, horribly wrong. A good friend, Alina Ali* says, “My wedding day make-up was horrible. I tried to fix it myself as much as I could, but it wasn’t possible to make it better. The only solution I could think of was to wash my face and redo it all, but no one let me do that.”

How to avoid it: Make sure you go for trial make-up well before your big day. If you are unable to go for a trial and your make-up doesn’t look satisfactory, don’t hesitate to tell your make-up artiste to fix it. If you get home and are still unhappy with how you look, don’t pay heed to what others say; wash it off and redo it! It’s essential for you to be content with how you look.

Traffic trouble: You are likely to find yourself and your loved ones stuck in traffic, especially if you live in Karachi. Model Mehreen Syed says that on her wedding day some of her family members turned up a little late because of a traffic jam in the city. “I was worried as they could have missed out on all the delicious food,” she shares. Designer Feeha Jamshed, who recently got hitched, tells us that her wedding was the day before August 14, and the roads were packed due to Independence Day celebrations. Due to that, some of the groom’s friends who were to dance at the wedding, arrived late. “There was some booing from the crowd [as part of the team bride vs. team groom dance competition], but we had my friends dance in place of them,” she tells us.

How to avoid it: While this is one of those unavoidable acts of God, you can leave your house early to avoid heavy traffic. Keep the peak traffic hours in mind and plan your day accordingly. If your relatives are stuck in traffic, have food served accordingly. And like Feeha says, “Marriage is all about supporting each other,” so, don’t forget this golden rule on your wedding day!

Published in The Express Tribune, December 22nd, 2013.

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